September 26, 2025

You should rarely be the loudest person in the room.

Visibility equals value, or so we’ve been taught. As I recently started taking more meetings outside of my regular group of friends, investors, and believers, I noticed that there is a recurring theme of at least one person trying to control the room in some way.

It’s usually uncomplicated to spot that individual. There are a few telltale signs; speaking loudly, using big, unnecessary words, always having an opinion on the given topic, and having strong beliefs weakly held.

This behaviour is usually relatively effective with those that have little to none social training. In reality however, these people usually have nothing of value to offer. Their “room control” is only a mechanism created to make up for the lack of inherited status.

Then there are people that actually “control the room,” as much as I dislike this term used in this context. With these individuals, it’s much harder to boil down to just behaviour. It’s a long-term game, however, some things that might be common are: choosing the location of the meeting itself, knowing the staff at the place or being known on a first name basis with a set of guests.

The behaviour itself is also radically different than that of the one trying to fake it. They’re much more secure in their beliefs and are not afraid to respectfully defend them. They don’t announce their presence, they make it known to the individuals directly, for example by approaching them prior and giving a quick introduction. Most importantly, they don’t attempt to appear to be the smartest person in the room, they only use big words when the crowd allows for it, otherwise explaining everything clearly and articulately.

I think I need not explain which of those groups makes better venture partners, friends or investors.